losing my mind and finding it again....

I wanted to update my blog....but once i opened it i just kinda sat here with my fingers on the keyboard not knowing what to say. The past couple of months have been such a whirlwind of emotions and everything that comes with it. I hit a point last month where i literally thought and felt like i was losing control of my own mind. When i was a kid i struggled with OCD until i was about 13 and it decided to come back full force at age 22. How does that happen? I told someone recently that i know I wouldn't exist on this earth anymore if it wasn't for the fact that I know Jesus. I don't have any idea how people go through life without knowing Him. For me, it's an impossibility. I'm doing much better. THings are still up and down, but i definitely feel like im' on an upward spiral now and not spiraling downward. I went to Florida for 4 days and was able to talk things out with people i feel safe with.

I was promoted to Manager in training at the good ol' crocs kiosk about 2 months ago too. I've been super busy since and that's about all I do right now. Tomorrow i have the day off and i'm VERY much looking forward to sleeping in and hanging out with some friends during the day.

It was really nice to be able to go to Florida. To be about familiar for a couple of days. This year has been filled with so many transitions and i think everything really just caught up to me. I moved to Colorado, have lived in 3 different houses since then, signed my first lease, started 2 different jobs, dated a boy for the first time in years, got hurt....yeah, it's just a breath of fresh air to go back to what you knew your whole life....but just for a visit. I very much feel like even though it's been tough...it's been amazing all in the same breath....I know i'm where the Lord wants me...I don't know WHY He wants me here yet..but it feels good knowing that's where i'm supposed to be. I'm learning alot about myself. I decided Florida is a GREAT place to visit...but i'm not at all certain it'd be easy to ever live there again....

Thanksgiving is coming up, and it's the first big holiday away from my family. I'm spending it with my amazing friend Tirzah and her family and i'm really excited about that. I had a few different invites but that one felt the best. :)

It's been probably a good 3 months since i have had a home cooked meal and i'm craving it oh so badly haha!!

That's about it for now...