catch me when i'm falling....

I feel like some people just get it. They immediately grasp the fullness of what God has for them and run with it...then there's those of us...like me. I've grown up in church my entire life...i put up a front for people most of my teen years..saying the right things, crying at the right times, praying in the right tones...being religious to the core. I feel like the last few years even, most of it has been the same thing...i remember the first time i went onto the missions field...and just KNOWING that was it...that was God's design for my life..thinking i knew what that looked like completely..and obviously not having a clue. Just recently..and now..i've been going through one of the hardest times of my life..by far. No details..just trust me when i say..it's been hard. Losing touch of reality and the feeling of not having control over my own mind. Praying and praying and praying for things to get better...and not feeling an ounce of peace no matter how hard I tried....key word...I....it's true...i can't do this life on my own. I've tried for entirely too long...catching glimpses of His fullness for my life here and there...and not knowing what to do with it. His fullness for my life doesn't mean knowing my future right now...but being with Him in the present...and not dwelling on the past. His fullness isn't a relationship with Him when things are just good...or crying out to Him when things are just bad....but being with Him in the bad, the good and the in between. I'm so tired of society and their gray areas when it comes to what His word PLAINLY states...that is NOT His fullness for my life..gray areas are NOT His fullness for anyones life....it's either in, or out...no sitting on the fence. that simple. Clearly we all fall short....But He catches me when i'm falling. Even if i can't feel it immediately. The strength to get through another day in this game called life. I have not arrived....and i still might not completely understand the fullness He has for me...i might get frustrated when i don't understand why He's letting me go through certain times...but this i know. That death on the cross is what caught me when i was falling. Now i'm free to move through this life with Him. In the good, the bad, and the in between. So are you.